Three Print Heads
Boz stands in front of an H2C doing two nozzles and a Vortek rack, hears that a competitor went to nine, and announces that Bambu is doing three print heads. Not four — that would be playing it safe. Three, because “if one nozzle is good, and two is better, obviously three makes us the best fucking printer that ever existed.”
The all-hands
BOZ: Would somebody tell me how this happened? We were the goddamn vanguard of 3D printing. We put an AMS on every desk. We made bed slinger a slur. Then the other guys started shipping toolchangers. Were we scared? Hell no. We hit back with the H2C. Two nozzles. A Vortek rack. Six swappable hotends, and a dried spool for moisture. That was supposed to end the conversation.
BOZ: Then somebody in this building went to nine. Nine hotends in a rack. Ten nozzle positions. Published in August. Now we are standing here with our cocks in our hands, selling two nozzles and a desiccant puck. Moisture or no, suddenly we are the chumps.
BOZ: Well, fuck it. We are doing three print heads.
BOZ: Sure, we could go to four next, like the competition. Four is the next number after three. So let us play it safe. Put a slightly bigger screen on the H2C and call it the H2C Pro. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why. Because we are a business, that is why.
BOZ: You think it is crazy? It is crazy. But I do not give a shit. If one nozzle is good, and two is better, obviously three makes us the best fucking printer that ever existed. Comprende? We did not claw our way to the top of the extruder game by clinging to the dual nozzle standard. Three heads is the biggest swing of all.
BOZ: Here is the report from Engineering. Someone left it in the bathroom. I want to wipe my ass with it. They do not tell me what to invent, I tell them. And I am telling them to stick a third head on there. I do not care how. Swing it out on an arm. Bolt it to the back of the gantry. Cram it in perpendicular. Just do it.
BOZ: You are taking the multi in multi material too literally, grandma. Cut the strings and soar. Let us hit it. Let us roll. This is our chance to make printer history. Let us dream big. All you have to do is say that three heads can happen, and it will happen. If you are not on board, then fuck you. And if you are on the board, then fuck you and your father.
BOZ: People said we could not go to two. It will cost a fortune to manufacture, they said. Well, we did it. Now some egghead in a lab is screaming that three is crazy? Perhaps he would be more comfortable over at Prusa, working on fucking bed slingers. Cartesian, my white ass.
BOZ: The market? Listen, we make the market. All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle. Printing with fewer than three heads is like painting a house with one bristle.
BOZ: I know what you are thinking now. Mew mew mew. Oh no, what will people say? Grow the fuck up. When you are on top, people talk. That is the price you pay for being on top. Which Bambu is, always has been, and forever shall be. Amen. Three heads, sweet Jesus in heaven.
BOZ: Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama is about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Put a camera on the third head, too. That is right. Three heads, two cameras, and make the second one actually useful. The second camera does calibration. It is a whole new way to think about printing. Do not question it. The patent office already published three of ours showing ten nozzles and a nine dock rack. That is not a leak. That is a warning shot. Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we are on the edge. The nozzle's edge. And I feel like dancing.