The Meta-Metaverse
Meta CTO Andrew Bosworth placed the call from 2047. The subject: the Meta-Metaverse, a virtual world inside the virtual world — you enter the metaverse, walk to your virtual couch, and put on a virtual headset that takes you to a deeper virtual world. Reality Labs has invested $4.2 trillion so far. Trillion with a T. More than the GDP of Germany and Brazil combined, with enough left over to buy Australia, which Meta looked into in 2039; the Australian government said no, so Australia is being rebuilt in VR. Monthly active users went from twelve to four hundred last quarter. That's 33x growth. He called Mark.
The announcement
The Quest 37 is a neural implant now. The Meta-Metaverse ships with features: grass — "a green, ground-covering plant that people used to touch with their bare hands" — the ability to fast-forward through uncomfortable conversations, and a setting to hold your emotional state at "content" indefinitely. MetaBrain lets you think posts directly into existence. MetaJuice is a beverage line for the metaverse-aware consumer. The timeline is five to ten years away from full consumer adoption. It was also five to ten years away in 2021. Both things are correct.
The Australia simulation has one kangaroo and one Starbucks. The kangaroo clipped through the ground into the void on day one and has been falling ever since. The Starbucks is doing very well.
The call
Boz. Mark. MARK. I need to tell you about the Meta-Metaverse.
Mark. You're inviting me to a meeting inside a meeting.
Boz. A virtual world inside the virtual world. You put on the Quest 37 neural implant, enter the metaverse, walk to your virtual couch, and put on a virtual headset that takes you to a deeper virtual world.
Mark. Inception. But worse. Because in Inception there was a plot.
Boz. This has features. Grass — "a green, ground-covering plant that people used to touch with their bare hands." The ability to fast-forward through uncomfortable conversations. A setting to hold your emotional state at "content" indefinitely.
Mark. That's not a feature, Boz. That's a pharmaceutical.
Boz. And the growth metrics. Twelve monthly active users last quarter. Now four hundred. That's 33x growth.
Mark. That's not a growth metric. That's a typo someone dared to repeat.
Boz. If we maintain this trajectory, we'll have 433 million users by Q3.
Mark. Boz, you said "exponential" about the Quest Pro 2 and we sold eleven units. One was to your mom.
Boz. My mother is an early adopter.
Mark. Your mother returned it.
Boz. Anyway — the timeline. The Meta-Metaverse is five to ten years away from full consumer adoption.
Mark. It was five to ten years away in 2021.
Boz. Correct.
Mark. Boz, how much have we spent on this?
Boz. Four point two trillion.
Mark. Trillion.
Boz. Trillion with a T. More than the GDP of Germany and Brazil combined.
Mark. We could have bought Germany.
Boz. We looked into buying Australia in 2039. The Australian government said no. So we're rebuilding Australia in VR.
Mark. How's that going?
Boz. We spawned one kangaroo and it clipped through the ground into the void.
Mark. One kangaroo. Four point two trillion dollars.
Boz. We also spawned a Starbucks. It's doing very well. The NPCs love it.
Mark. The NPCs you programmed to love it. You wrote a line of code that says preference equals starbucks. That's a SQL query, Boz.
Boz. Okay, but the real vision. MetaBrain. A brain-computer interface that lets you think posts directly into existence. You think "I'm having a great day" and it posts to your feed automatically.
Mark. People already post without thinking. You want to remove the last speed bump between a bad idea and a public post.
Boz. It reduces friction. Engagement goes up 400 percent when you remove the typing step.
Mark. You want to accelerate into the wall.
Boz. MetaJuice. Our new beverage line. Functional drinks for the metaverse-aware consumer. "Taste the Meta."
Mark. Nobody will taste the meta. We've spent four point two trillion dollars proving that. We have fewer users than a single Costco on a Saturday.
Boz. Costco doesn't have a neural implant.
Mark. Costco has a dollar fifty hot dog. That's a value proposition people understand.
Boz. We could put a Costco inside the Meta-Metaverse. A virtual Costco where —
Mark. Boz. Don't.
Boz. — the kangaroo can be a greeter!
Mark. Goodbye, Boz.