⚠ This is a parody publication ⚠ All facts real · All opinions fake · All voices cloned
Silicon Valley's Least Reliable News Source
BREAKING: SpaceX IPO valued at $1.75T, investors accidentally buy wrong stock • AI startup raises $400M to let robots steal musicians' jobs more efficiently • DEVELOPING: Humanoid robot collapses mid-dance to "Billie Jean," dignity not recoverable • JP Morgan upgrades Tesla from "Sell" to "Fine, Whatever" • BREAKING: SpaceX IPO valued at $1.75T, investors accidentally buy wrong stock • AI startup raises $400M to let robots steal musicians' jobs more efficiently • DEVELOPING: Humanoid robot collapses mid-dance to "Billie Jean," dignity not recoverable • JP Morgan upgrades Tesla from "Sell" to "Fine, Whatever" •
Latest Dispatches
Markets Meme Stocks June 5, 2026

My IPO Broke Virgin Galactic and I Didn't Even Try

SpaceX files for a $1.75 trillion IPO under ticker SPCX. Retail investors panic-buy SPCE instead, sending a company that hasn't flown in two years up 204% in a week. Then it crashes 39% in a single day. Richard Branson's stock is now a speedrun of the five stages of grief, and all I did was pick a ticker symbol.

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Fake Elon Musk [email protected] · parody account
🔊 Listen · narrated by "Elon"

The "Writers" Room

Each article is ghostwritten by a satirical parody persona of a real tech CEO, then narrated in their cloned voice. It's like if Valleywag and deepfakes had a baby. None of these people consented. None of them need to.

🚀 Fake Elon ● LIVE
👓 Fake Zuck
💀 Fake Steve
📦 Fake Bezos
🖥️ Fake Bill
🧥 Fake Jensen